Preface:
Every thought leads to action, leaving traces that can be known from the beginning to the end. When interacting with things, their appearance reveals their behavior, and the thoughts in my mind are as calm as flowing frost and flying snow, coming quietly and rising softly. The feeling is already fluttering, looking at the vast expanse of silver and the flowing river, but the thoughts in my mind are like a sudden rain and a gust of wind, coming and obscuring my vision. From the moment I embrace them, they merge with the waves and become turbulent. Looking at the fluttering red and the swaying green and yellow. As I delve deeper into it, it becomes more profound, but I always want it to be lighter and more tranquil, to be broken into segments. Therefore, I often think about it for a long time and write this text in vain, just to express these thoughts.
The words are as follows:
In the past, I was deeply involved in emotions, every thought and intention. I advanced but couldn't bear the intensity of my thoughts, and when I retreated, it was difficult to break free from constant contemplation. The deep connection obscured my origin, and I lamented the transformation of life and death. I deeply felt the pain of parting and the depth of embracing the pillar. From a shadow to a farewell, I longed for the eternal bond of immortals like Xiao Shi and Nong Yu, and regretted the eternal separation of Qin Jia and Xu Shu. Therefore, I always fear the misfortune of a good relationship and fear the departure of passionate feelings. I don't consider the autumn thoughts that I have become accustomed to, nor do I have any way to condense the white mist. So I often observe the desire to arise subtly, and then wield the sword to dispel the confusion, but every time I measure the potential of a graceful dance, I drive my thoughts away. But unexpectedly, I encountered the mercy of heaven, and I doubted whether our connection was deep. I met a graceful and elegant woman in the clear autumn of the past, and encountered a beautiful woman in the secluded night of the past. Suddenly, I felt the presence of the constant thoughts like a bright moon by my side, and I suddenly realized that the deep thoughts were like flying snow, filling my mind. At this moment, the silver shadows have fallen beyond the reach of ordinary pens, and the essence has reached its limit. Even if I describe the light clouds covering the moon and the drifting wind bringing back the snow, it is still lacking. It is like the anticipation between the eyebrows at that time, like the distant solitude in the embrace. It is like the fairy palace that has not been seen, and it is like the Yao platform that is about to appear. Every time I think of the anticipation, I unintentionally become graceful and gentle, and my thoughts are always elegant and not quiet, blending into the emotions. The joy of waking and sleeping cannot be counted, and the pleasure of day and night cannot be measured. It teaches the three autumns to reunite, and it becomes even more intense.
Thinking back to the cause of self-embrace, it was not because of appearance. I thought about the unintentional and the origin of thoughts, but I have never seen their faces. Their appearance is beautiful, their appearance is extraordinary, but as time goes by, they cannot last forever. It becomes like a dream, sometimes like the high Tang of Han Gao, lamenting that it is difficult to reach and that years cannot be shared. I often feel the warmth of spring in the three springs, and I always think of the orchid heart with a noble character, like the wind blowing through the branches, and the spring breeze not as good as the school book. And the wind and flow of the clear and shining jade bones, the leisure of the eighteen Hu Jia of Wen Ji, I observe the hidden gloom and comfort it with warmth, and I feel the compassion and send it with warm words. I have reached this point, and it is difficult to write a few more articles. When I arrive at another place, I will study the delicate ink and not finish it. I deeply appreciate the happiness of having the same heart, and I am deeply grateful for the wonderful method of this life.
In pursuit of it, it is not about thoughts and intentions. I watch as we hold hands without words and look at each other, feeling choked. But only through words can we embrace each other, seeing the silk of life come to an end and tears dry up, only using poetry to express our feelings. When I enter the gate of thoughts, frowning and smiling are all related to the strings of emotions. I fear that the colorful clouds will disperse easily and good dreams will be easily awakened. I fear that I will be lost in vain at that time and it will be difficult to catch this feeling. I always comfort myself with the Taoist method, praying for this to be determined, and always praying deeply to keep it for a long time. The destiny of tomorrow has its own number, and the path of the future is already marked. When encountering each other, whether it is separation or reunion, it will happen at the right time, gradually reaching its destination, like the arrival of spring and the departure of autumn. Every time I measure this moment, I feel the unbearable pain of deep thoughts and the unfulfilled longing. I want to express this feeling, sighing endlessly and expressing it in a long way, feeling deep regret and expressing it with weight. The more I feel, the less I can say, but I can only deeply appreciate the prayer of Mao Xian to the Emperor's spirit and eternal joy, to express my deep thoughts and emotions. But when I think of such thoughts, I don't want to express my feelings and feel them internally. I can only express my deep thoughts and emotions.
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The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2021-02-28