It might be better to teach me to be more indifferent, so as not to feel so melancholy at this moment. Watching this bamboo wither like this, I really don't know what kind of taste it is. If it naturally wants to fade away, it would be fine, but it seems that I don't know how to control myself, pouring more water, it's a difficult situation of overdoing it, and she can only bear it bitterly. Perhaps speaking frankly would offend her good intentions, watching her temples frost over and feeling at a loss, it's really hard to express the sadness at this moment.
Our companionship is naturally very good, and we don't need to add any superfluous words to our affection for each other. Encountering such difficulties naturally requires a sense of vigilance in our hearts. Thinking that not knowing the right measure in all things is forgivable, but knowing it and still being inconsistent in one's feelings towards others, what can I blame?
Thinking further, it is often lamented that deep feelings do not last long, often it is just to taste a separation that was clear just now. It seems that such silent expressions, whether in poetry or lyrics, have already expressed weariness, but have not been able to express everything. Thinking about the affection in our hearts, isn't it just like this, seeing a shadow, involuntarily filling the heart with affection, thinking it will flow gently and long like a clear stream, but unexpectedly, it will eventually fade away, the brilliance is difficult to describe in words, and the desolation is also difficult to express.
However, what is often to be seen is often not believed until it has passed, only then do we remember what we heard at that time, and the poetic sentiment is just like that.
The impression is very deep, it is the admonition that captures the thoughts and feelings, as in the passage from Song Yuanshi Zhan's "Reply to Xie Minshi's Letter": "Roughly like flowing clouds and water, initially without a fixed nature, but always acting where one should act, always stopping where one should not stop, naturally in text and reason, with a natural posture." Thinking deeply and carefully, when Zhan mentions this, where is it just hoping that future generations like you and me will ponder over the words, but also thinking about being a person and handling matters. And then, the later Mr. Shouren said, "Knowing and acting as one, there is no doubt." With such thoughts, it is necessary to ponder deeply.
Thinking about it now, it is so desolate, and it is necessary to follow the advice of these two gentlemen, to hold oneself accountable, to integrate knowledge and action, and to think deeply about this affection in our hearts. Shamefully, I am so melancholy, and the bamboo must also be unable to bear it, so I advise myself that it might be better to water it again tomorrow, half a cup of clear water should be enough, if not, it would only make her silent affection, it might be better to be a bit "heartless."
This article is synchronized and updated by Mix Space to xLog. The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2021-06-15