Earlier, when I finished writing the second draft of Chapter 81 of "Laozi" and pondered why it was not as vague as the first draft, the teachings of the Southern Master were certainly one word at a time, but more often than not, they were experienced and walked through. Looking at this chapter, I no longer feel the fear and respect I felt when I first saw it. Instead, it feels natural, like reading poetry or lyrics. It no longer feels like an elusive deity, but rather like Qu Gong and Zhe Xian, who are kneeling in front of the altar with you and me, smiling kindly. I just want to meet like this, how can it be as awe-inspiring as the first time, feeling that what is in front of me is just a shadow standing in the temple.
In general, this is what the Southern Master wrote, the deepest is the most ordinary, and the most profound is the most intimate sentiment. The Master did not preach in any particular way, nor did he need any embellishment or hidden messages. He simply spoke and explained things in a casual and metaphorical manner, making it clear to people quietly, just like the Dao that used to seem vague and obscure. I have always believed in destiny, but I am not obsessed with it. When encountering things, I embrace the concept of "doing nothing" and think about nothing. I just cherish this sentiment in my heart, whether it is searching or contemplating. However, I am careful not to be obsessed. In the past, I would have been lost and would have had to go through a period of obsession before I could understand it. But now that I have experienced and gone through it, I have gradually accumulated more and deeper experiences. Especially when encountering the teachings of the Master, it no longer feels as dim and sighs as before, "The years have become sparse, the beauty has flowed through the years, and every place is full of dust. The dream in the Qionglin, the smoke in the bright moon. The love between the two, is varied and repeated." Or "The illusion comes from emptiness. I only hate sentimentality, not being cautious for a long time. Cutting the candle and looking at the withered paulownia. A kind of dripping, unintentionally heavy." I no longer have such thoughts. It is also common for love and separation to be impermanent. It is no longer a special occurrence, but a normal thing. In this way, I can't help but think about the relationship between destiny and the Dao.
I think if it weren't for the predetermined destiny, I wouldn't have experienced the ups and downs I have experienced, just like the obsession of "wordless alone on the west tower" naturally reveals how deep and profound it is in this sentiment. If I hadn't encountered the Dao in person, I would naturally continue to contemplate and adhere to the thoughts of warmth and kindness. At this moment, on the piece of rice paper spread on the desk, there must be heart-wrenching poems or repeated lyrics, but they are not a chapter of "Laozi". Now when I think about the impermanence of love and separation, it is difficult to dispel the feeling of melancholy, and it becomes more and more intense. It is a constant reflection and a sense of gratitude.
It is often said that there is a long way to go in the future, but what often comes to mind is the anticipation and expectation, but rarely do I intentionally think about how there will be frost and snow. Many thoughts and emotions often have to be expected to escape, but in the end, they still have to go through. How intricate and impermanent it is. I think destiny and the heavenly path are difficult to control. There is no need to entangle with them. It is better to understand this earlier and not be consumed by it. It is fortunate to have a clear understanding of this earlier. Later, even if I encounter things that are unbearable and indescribable, I don't need to feel as melancholy as I did when I first saw them, and I don't need to feel lost and confused.
How can I explain the Dao and destiny? How mysterious and obscure they are. Why should the Master be so distant as if he had gone through the ages?
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The original link is https://nishikori.tech/posts/prose/2022-12-03